We are The "Twitter Birds"

So the last few weeks have been quite revealing in the sense that I have figured out who is behind some masked idiots on twitter.
EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO THEIR OPINION and I say that quite loudly as for some reason people forget that you believe this by reiterating this phrase in counter arguments which is irrelevant to my main point.

However,  my argument is this. If you are going to have an opinion then fair enough, express it as you will, but  hurling insults, tweeting their co workers and colleagues (whom you do not know) about your feelings of an individual, and messaging one of their clients in regards to your hate IS NOT AN OPINION.

I make these points on the grounds of a recent case I witnessed on twitter were a friend of mine was a victim of the above. The real reason behind these insults are still unknown although the tweeter claims they did it because my friend was taking the band in a direction that the tweeter (she ) did not approve. This direction being a positive one if any. My friend works in an industry that demands you to take opportunities when you can.  A high position in the entertainment industry automatically gives you contacts that may hold a greater influence in getting better gigs for the band you are in. So why on earth would you not take the opportunity to work with big names? If music is what you love and in this case, nobody is asking them to change anything, why is that wrong?

Working in a band myself I know that when an amazing opportunity is offered then we want to take it with both hands as it is a step closer to doing what you love full time.
Who is anyone to deny you or insult you for wanting to do this.

So to you @CandyBird I say this.

1. Yes he may have a better grip on getting the band on a tv show because of his job but why are you so bothered?
2. Why have you included his work contacts on the tweets? Was it because you hoped they would reply and in turn you would gain more followers?
3. Hiding behind a twitter account to insult someone is a cowardly act. Grow some balls and say who you are.
4. Last year you became friends on twitter with those in discussion here today, and it was only this year you decide to insult and express hatred. This is not a question I am just pointing out how weird this is.

Reply please as I would love to understand how you find personal insults to be part of "an adult conversation" as you so righteously stated to me.

The Band Police!

There are also a few other profiles on twitter who abuse bands by going the extra mile to fuel rage within the content of tweets. Sometimes this can be funny reading, but between the lines, you can see that these tweeters are insecure musicians who feel their career may not be going as well as they thought it would. The @band_police is the main account Liverpool bands were discussing this summer. Insults on cover bands, the famous, the shite, the good, the accomplished and even themselves. Alot of banter was created and became quite heated with some bands blocking the profile for life. It would be interesting to see them back tweeting as I love opinionated gits like myself. Although I don't hide my I.D...

Does anyone have any idea as to who they think they are?

Through getting MY ' Jessica Fletcher ' on, I am 99% sure who I know who these jockeys are. Jog on boys, you are not fooling anyone by 'dissin' your own band with the account.

FACE TO FACE IDIOTS!

Criticism is always hard to take on the chin unless it's something you always knew needed to be improved. It is even harder to stay professional when it is given to you face to face and especially when it is by someone who is talking through their glory hole.
If you are going to offer any advice to musicians please ensure there is an actual qualifiable knowledge base of that subject in your brain before you open your mouth.
Here is a countdown of example "criticisms" that I have heard and that have pissed me off over the years.

Just because you have worked as a Kareoke DJ for 3 years does not qualify you in telling me my Shure mic is not suitable for a live band performance before we have even set up!

Coming up to me in the middle of a performance and informing me my voice does not have enough "bass" on it is not my problem. Try speaking to the guy on the sound desk you goon!

Coming up to us after the performance has finished is pointless. Including informing us what you "would have used instead"  The performance has finished, the soundman works the sound. Work it out!!

Don't tell me you didn't like the way we did a certain song because you just "didn't get it" ---- What do you mean? Ellaborate please...... If you don't like our version then don't listen to it. Easy!  Why tell me this. We do things how we do things because it's the way we wanted to do it! We are not changing it because you have come up to me and said "ooo I dont like it" Froob!

Don't tell us our guitars are too loud when they are only on the 3rd level - especially when you are the apparent "Soundguy", Compare,  DJ, Security guard and bar manager rolled into one!

Telling us to hire you as a personal sound engineer because you 'used to do it' and the venues sound engineer we had that evening made our guitars give out too much treble is not going to get you the job dweeb !!

I could go on but my main point is this.

EVERYONE HAS AN OPINION,  IT DOESNT FUCKING MEAN YOU ARE RIGHT JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO EXPRESS IT.

I am John Lennon

Hello, it has been a few weeks since I last posted but the break was required in order to whittle down the subject of my next blog. I have decided to talk about cover artists who take on their tribute to a whole new level. I call this the 'John Lennon Complex'. In my opinion a great tribute artist sounds and has similar looks to the artist they are portraying, On stage.(looks are not everything to me, it just helps to add to the experience)

 There has been a rise over the years of tributes taking the character off stage to the point were they walk around Tesco in full on stage mode. Most recently it was a local Meat Loaf act. Singing to the top of what was left of his smoke damaged vocal chords whilst throwing a packet of fucking no frills burgers into his trolley and in full costume!! I have never been so tempted to push someone into the freezers but I knew ( I actually calculated in my head) "Body mass vs Freezer space over pregnant woman hormone force" would not work for me nor the trolley I was going to use to shove him in.


 More often than none these knob jockeys believe that they are the actual artist and/or carry their spirit within them. I am open for anyone reading this, who believes they fit the above description, to put forward their argument as to why they feel this way and do these things. You are a tribute act.....get over the fact you are not that person and stop talking down to other artists because you believe you are greater than them!

A few questions I would like to ask out of genuine curiosity:

1. Why do you keep a fake accent and use it off stage to talk to people? (Normally when this happens the accent is terrible)
2. Why do you walk around off stage, in town, doing your shopping, get married etc in your full tribute gear?
3. On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate your performance as a tribute act? and what factors is this opinion based on?
4. If you believe you carry the spirit of the real artist inside of you, how the fuck have you come to this conclusion? 
5. If you carry the Spirit of Lennon when you sing, why do you still sound like an average tribute trying to impersonate Cilla Black? Why do you continue to act like this off stage?
6. Do you realize people think you are a tool?
7. Why have you had surgery in order to try and look like the artist when, in fact its made you look more like you may have had some sort of viral attack on your nervous system?

One band I met a few years ago at Beatle Week hail from Argentina, and although they were good musically as a band, their presence off stage made me feel very uncomfortable. Not only were they very tanned but the Paul thought he was really Paul and had undergone surgery to raise his eyebrow line and to create a rounder looking eye.

The John had undergone nose surgery, The George walked around with a quivering lip and The Ringo, well, the photo says it all but he was a nice guy to talk to. They spoke with fake scouse accents, even though their English was very broken, and tried to pull any girl that shown the slightest bit of interest.On days they did not gig, they still walked around fully suited, booted and wigged up throwing out quotes from 'Help' and 'A Hard Days Night'.  "Want to let everyone know you're in a Beatle Band do you?" Your talent will speak on stage you idiots!

Surgery and 'role playing' can maybe be forgiven, but the true belief that you carry the soul of Lennon is another thing all together. Yes, there are people who truly believe they are doing what they do because Lennon has selected them to carry out what he could not continue.....

For a start if Lennon decided to stick close by to anybody it would be his loved ones and not some tribute act who has never had any impact on his life whatsoever. 

I implore anyone with these beliefs in themselves to come forward and speak to me. Give me an insight into why the fuck you think you are, and I quote, "The chosen" one. 

In addition to all the above, must come a feeling of " I am irresistible to all because I am the real deal"

Er no, you are fucking not you TWAT. Call me harsh but do not think that because you 'play' a famous person on stage (and or off stage for the tribute extremists ) that all women find you attractive. To some, it maybe a turn on due to it being the closest to the real thing they are ever going to get personal with. But not all and certainly not me. 

A few words of advice:

• Leave your wig, suits and boots in the dressing room after you have left the performance area.
• Do not tell anyone you are/have been/ felt the presence, of John Lennon. You will regarded a twat. 
• Do not assume you look like or sound like an artist just because 1 person said it might be a good idea to become their tribute.
• Do not get a 'Gods Gift' complex when you do start gigging. Things like this are easy to spot and make you look even more like a twat. 
• If you get surgery, go to the best one around and only get it if you already really do look like the artist you impersonate. You could end up looking like some of these examples......

The Kim Kardashian 

The Michael Jackson

The Jessica Rabbit

The Super Man

I invite your thoughts........